Uggghhh, sometimes.

In Manzanillo, partly cloudy, no rain, perfect
We found in the backyard. It has red wings
The nearby beach of Manzanillo
View of the mountains and banana fields when I jog
Cool looking bug in the dining room....
Check out this nocturnal butterfly in my room!!!
University Earth in Guapiles
with youth leaders on the way to a youth congress

July 8, 2010

I really miss “me time”. Like being in my own place with no one to pound on the bathroom door, ask me what I’m doing, ask me where I’m going, who I’m going with, and whether or not I should go (like I asked for their opinion in the first place) kind of me time. Even little kids ask you. “Where are you going? Why? Where did you just come from? Who were you with?” It’s such an exhausting inquisition if you’re just trying to make it into town or back home or into your room. I would love to be able to walk in and say hello to everyone, go to the bathroom and pee, then to my room to take my shoes off, THEN when I’ve had a minute, share with people how my day was -- how I want to share it. On the street too, the same interrogation occurs. I’ve started asking people who ask me all these questions the same questions, in hopes to curb the onslaught of inquiries. It works sometimes. For the most part, people mean well or don’t mean anything at all by asking all these questions. It’s just part of the culture- how you greet one another. I get that. So, I try to go with their flow. Usually, if I can get past being annoyed, I can have a decent conversation and learn a thing or two. One interesting observation is that women ask women, boys and girls ask women, men ask women.... Not so much do you see women ask men and get a real response from men.

Which leads me to the next observation. Lots of men here (at least in my community) are recklessly, blatantly, openly flirting with women and girls that are NOT their partner. Many of these men are not just flirting but pursuing them just the same and have affairs, lots of affairs. It is so commonly accepted that the men here step out on their wives, girlfriends, etc. And it is just astounding to me. I have had so many married men hit on me, whistle at me, damn near proposition me --- and sure enough, they are married with kids. Of course, when they are walking down the street the next day with their wife and kids they have nothing to say, but as soon as she turns away, there they go. Men are free to go out after work to the local bars, to play soccer, to hang out without “permission” while women are usually stuck at home with their children. Women have little to no social network, recreational activities, or positive outlet. And God forbid, they do get out and do something --- they either have to take all their kids with them (because of course the man can’t watch them) or they go by themselves but are constantly being called on their cell phones by their husbands. Now if a wife or girlfriend were to step out on their man, it is unforgiveable. She’s the town whore, a zorra, a prostitute. What a double standard. And this is reinforced by men AND women. It starts here when they are children. Little boys are told “you’re not a man unless you have a lot of women, and if you turn a woman down, you’re a homosexual”. Of course, there are exceptions. Not ALL men cheat (although if you were to ask any woman here, they would say all men cheat). Not ALL women are in an oppressive role. But it’s pretty overwhelmingly so. Ironically, Costa Rica has elected their first female president.

Whew. Vent session. What else has been going on? Well, I ate sea turtle last weekend. My host dad’s mother is a great cook and brought sea turtle swearing up and down it was the best food ever. I think they noticed my apprehension and responded, “Oh it’s completely legal to eat sea turtle. This isn’t the illegal kind.” Yeah right. I took a bite to be polite, but still felt bad. And for those who are wondering, it tasted like cow meat with a tinge of seafoodness and coconut.

I’ve been working on my Community Assessment that’s due to Peace Corps at the end of August. It’s pretty tedious. But I think there are some great projects and lots of work to be done here in Bribri.

I’ve had more ups and downs. Some days, I feel so grateful and right on time to be here and other days I feel like packing up and going home. They say that’s normal, especially the first few months. It helps that I have a lot of support from a few families here in town and can contact my fellow volunteers so easily with cell phones. They help me get through the homesickness. I try to exercise almost everyday. My ankle started swelling up so I can’t run as much. I roll on my bike as my main mode of transportation. I journal everyday which helps me keep my center. Just finished reading Infidel by Ayaan HIrshi Ali. Great book.

Love you all!!!!!!!

I know, I know, I´ll post more pics later.

Goal 2 of Peace Corps: Helping promote a better understanding of Americans on the part of the peoples served.... We had an impromptu beauty shop session on Black hair with my host parents kiddos. :)
These are the puppies I helped deliver...read end of blog to see how it ended.

Written June 16th:

My counterpart who works at a local community agency took me to a nearby beach one Sunday. It was beautiful. I didn’t swim this time, but walked up the beach and into the beach’s park where I experienced different sand, beautiful shells, monkeys in the trees, and lots of sea creatures on the rocks. I feel so lucky to be so close to the beach. This beach we went to was only 45 minutes away on the bus. I can tell I am beginning to integrate into my community because now when I see “foreigners” they stick out like a sore thumb and almost get on my nerves because of how touristy and stereotypical American they act.

I learned that most of the beautiful land in the beach towns has now been bought out by non-Costa Ricans (mostly Americans and Europeans) and the land the Costa Ricans once owned, they now work for. There are two very different worlds going on in these touristy beach towns. One is the tourist life and the other is the behind the scenes/locals life. They are like night and day. Peace Corps would like for me to consider working in a few of these nearby touristy towns to work with locals dealing with child sexual exploitation, drug abuse of minors, domestic violence, drop out rate, and other issues. How about Costa Rica ranks waaaay up there on countries with the most child sexual exploitation?!? And who are their biggest customers? You guessed it --- USA and Europeans. It makes me sick to see old ass American men toting around CHILDREN as their “girlfriends”. I wish I could punch them in their face and take the young people away from there... but I know it doesn’t work like that. Right now, awareness is key. I talk to Costa Ricans all the time who are unaware of child sexual abuse, particularly commercial exploitation, being an issue in their own neighborhoods. So, that’s where we’ll start because it is right under their noses.

I am reading my 5th book now. So far I’ve read: Good in Bed, Songs Without Words, Three Cups of Tea, and The Memory Keeper’s Daughter. I am currently reading Cornel West’s Democracy Matters.

Two nights ago, my host family’s Rottweiler went into labor. It killed it’s first pup (very sad to see). So my host dad and his wife, along with me observing, helped deliver the next two puppies to make sure their dog wouldn’t eat her own puppies. After about two hours we thought she was done having puppies, so they went sleep and I kept the puppies in a box in my room. The dog stayed on the patio right outside my window... then it happened: I heard her howl then she had another puppy! I ran out, yelled for help, but had to take action because the dog was determined to do some damage to the puppy. I pulled the pup out of its sac, cleaned it up, cut the umbilical cord and put it with the rest of the puppies. I stayed up the rest of the night and did it over again two more times by myself! I helped that dog deliver three puppies! That’s wild isn’t it?!?!?! I felt like I was on an Animal Planet show delivering pups with my bare hands in the middle of the night. :)

I am learning a little bit of the Bribri language. Not many speak Bribri in the town of Bribri, but they do up in the indigenous communities. An old man who is really involved in the community and is Bribri taught me a few phrases:

To greet someone: Iz besh que nah
I’m fine : Gesh que nah bway
Thank you : Chi chi cratz ka
Come here, I’d like to talk with you: Jue kapa co kan beta


UPDATE on June 18, 2010

Sadly, all of the puppies died. Apparently they were all born premature and since the mama dog didn´t want them, they weren´t able to thrive. Poor things.

Changes, adjustment, changes

I wrote this June 6th, and am just now posting it. Sorry.

June 6, 2010

Hello All!

I’m finally settling into my new home of Bribri. My host family and counterparts are great. I live in a town surrounded by mountains, banana trees as far as the eye can see, and a river that serves as the border between Costa Rica and Panama. The center of town has everything I need: my bank, stores, the municipalidad, community agencies, and the elementary school and high school. I spent the first week meeting people, introducing myself as a Peace Corps Volunteer, and adjusting to the immense heat. The first few days here I got bitten by Costa Rican chiggars... or coloradillas. They are AWFUL!!!! I’ve never itched like that in my life --- and to top it off they bit me (27 bites) around my entire bikini line!!!!! AGGGGGHHHHHH! I didn’t leave the house one of those days because the people in town would have thought I was a crazy, sweating, miserable woman scratching herself in public. LOL.

Getting used to not having a packed schedule like we did in training, not knowing anyone, and being here alone without friends and family have all been challenges I’ve had and that every volunteer goes through. I’ve had days when I sit and think: “What the hell am I doing here?!?!?!? This is crazy!” But I’ve snapped out of the funks pretty quickly. I just text a fellow volunteer, email a friend, or talk to someone back home. (I’m lucky I have a cell, access to internet, and a landline in my house!)

Sometimes it’s draining to introduce myself over and over, explain what Peace Corps is over and over, and explain that yes, I am American although I am not blonde and blue-eyed over and over. But overall, people here are open, loving, giving, and kind. I met quite a few people in the community just in the two weeks I’ve been here. I stop by and talk to them and learn so much about their lives, their stories, their history. It’s quite humbling that people are so open to share (their lives, their home, and their food). It reminds me to be more open and not take myself so seriously.

My job for the next 3 months is to complete the CAT (in Spanish), which is a community assessment tool. It’s going to cover everything about the community-- strengths, weaknesses, needs, history, resources, and so on. From there, I will form a plan of action on what projects the community would like to work on. I’m still getting used to the idea of getting up every morning and doing whatever I want... Drinking coffee with a neighbor, eating lunch at a community member’s house, getting to know my host family, walking around town and getting to know people is all part of my job description. :)

And since I’ve moved to Bribri, I have had a bat fly into my room, a big toad hop in the living room, chickens walk into my room, along with numerous insects I’ve never seen buzz and crawl on me. I take a cold, refreshing shower every morning then, pat myself down with powder, sunscreen, and bug repellent. When I walk around town, I use my umbrella - rain and shine - to protect me from the elements. I’ve gone fishing in my host family’s tilapia pond (and caught fish!). We also went and saw the waterfalls about 10min away from where I live. Beautiful.
I miss everyone A LOT and think of you always. I’ll have a new address soon. In the meantime, you can send packages or letters to the Peace Corps office address on my blog. Feel free to send me a book or a DVD. :) I’ve read three books so far and on my fourth. (Just got done with Three Cups of Tea)

It's official!!!

This our CYF group before swear-in at the Plaza de la Democracia en San Jose
This is my host mom, Ana, at the swear-in ceremony.
My good friend Patty, our Program Manager Dan Baker, and I at the Ambassador's house.
Posing for the camera, after swear in.
Peace Corps Director, Donna, US Ambassador, and CYF Program Manager


It’s been almost a month since I blogged so here are the bullet points!

-- On April 30th, we had Site Assignment Day. I was assigned to a town just on the Costa Rican/Panamanian border.

-- A week later, I met my counterpart (main contact person for our assigned community). He is awesome! We did our counterpart workshop an then took the 8 hour bus ride down to my site. It was a great experience. The community was great! However, there was an issue: recent violence is plaguing the barrio.

-- Sooooo, long story short: Peace Corps decided to move me to another site due to the security issue. (By the way, Peace Corps did a great job of handling the situation).

-- I was siteless for a week or so, but now I know my new site will be the community of Bribri, Costa Rica.

-- We experienced an earthquake on May 20th... tremble for us in the San Jose area, 6.1 for the epicenter south of us in Costa Rica.

-- Our swearing in ceremony was yesterday, May 21st. It was a wonderful day! Yes! Finally, I am now an official volunteer of the United States Peace Corps! I actually teared up when we had to do the national anthems for Costa Rica and the U.S. We took our oath with the United States Ambassador to Costa Rica. AND I was chosen by my peers of CYF (my program Children Youth & Families) to represent our training class (Tico 20) and give one of the three speeches given by the trainees. What an honor! And I did it all in Spanish. Later, I even got interviewed by the local news!!!!!!! It was such a special day. All the hard work, tears, waiting, and nerves paid off!

--I am truly honored to have the opportunity to serve. I am looking forward to making connections, friendships, and learning while I am here.

-- I’ve gotten a bit better at navigating my way around San Jose....

-- My Spanish has improved a lot. I even advanced a level during my Spanish evaluation.

-- My host family for the last 11 weeks has become like family. I will miss them so much when I head to Bribri.

-- What I know so far about Bribri is that it is the oldest indigenous population in Costa Rica. The town of Bribri is now the gateway to the indigenous reserves of Talamanca. I’ll be living and working in Bribri but not necessarily exclusively with the indigenous population. It’s pretty urban, but about 30-45 minutes from the beach!!! The county of Talamanca is the poorest in the country. Sexual exploitation of children, drugs, and child abuse are among some of the issues around the community. There seem to be a lot of strengths in the community too. I am looking forward to observing and learning for myself what I think and feel about Bribri.
-- I got a cell phone! I can receive calls for free, but it’s pricey for me to call out. Just email me if you want my cell phone number.

-- I had to say goodbye to all of my fellow Tico 20ers as we’re all headed in 52 different communities across the country. I won’t see them again until In Service Training...

And that’s about it... I had been super busy with training and getting ready for swearing in. Now it’s all done and I’m on my way to the province of Limon!

I miss you all friends and family! Thanks for keeping in touch and sending me emails or messages of encouragement. I appreciate that!

Love ya!

April 28, 2010

found this guy in my room last night
my host dad showed me a nest of baby national birds in the backyard
the view of the road in a rural town outside of the school near the Nicaraguan border
one of the schools we did a project in near the Nicaraguan border. This school holds all grades!
This is me after a HOT day in the sun.
This is the church that belongs to the precaurio near Los Chiles
A baby parakeet in the precaurios
A house in the precaurios
The sunset in the precaurios
HOT day at the highschool´s farm. That´s a worm I´m holding!
This is the high school farm in Los Chiles. HOT.
This is a man with a machete. Very common.
Bananas on the farm in Los Chiles
Fresh cheese made on the farm. YUM.
The men making the fresh cheese on the farm from the milk from the cows on the farm. Very cool.
Our group at the farm in Los Chiles after our boat ride
This is cacao, what chocolate is made of.
Some of the many cows on the farm
Pigs on the farm that will soon be sold to eat.
Donna on the boatride to the farm
Robyn, Donna, Kari, and Tressa made it to the border!
Donna & Tressa on the way to the border. Almost there!
The beginning of our adventure to the border!
Donna, Monique, Tiffany, and Patty at VAC Dinner

Hi everyone! ¡Pura Vida! It’s been a busy few weeks here in Costa Rica!

Here’s what’s been going on since I last wrote:

* We had a all volunteer dinner/party a few weeks ago in which we met almost all 100

volunteers currently in Costa Rica. That was a lot of fun, dancing, and letting loose!

* We went to Los Chiles near the Nicaraguan border for our tech week for 6 days last

week to visit a current volunteer and do some small projects to get a sense of what

volunteer life will be like. It was awesome!!!! I met a wonderful volunteer, visited the

schools, local agencies, and the precaurios (similar to shantytowns or projects), and

worked with kiddos. We also rode up to the border (of course we did not crossover to

Nicaragua), took a boat ride on the Río Frío and saw crocs, congos, monkeys, lots of

birds, and big iguanas. The heat was relentless and I took cold showers with ease!

* Training is more than halfway over. I think the trainings are great. I’ve learned a lot about how things are in Costa Rica and how Peace Corps plans to approach certain issues. Of course, by the end of the day, my brain is about to explode due to all the information, but it’s all good. We’re almost finished!

* We’re learning a lot about Non-formal education and have practiced doing a few workshops in the schools on our own using non-formal education.

* I still don’t know my way around San Jose, the capital. It’s all a maze to me.

* I feel like I have the bus system down. :) We take the public bus or walk everywhere.

* I’ve killed several spiders ON MY OWN, thank you very much. I did have to ask my host brothers to come and kill a huge one in my room the other day. AND I still slept there after they killed it! Improvement people, improvement!

* The machismo here gets OLD, but it’s something I have to learn to adjust to and work around because it runs deep here. In Spanish class, we learned a few phrases we can snap back at the men who say something to us on the streets. ;) I´ve already put a phrase or two into practice.

* I’m thinking and speaking and dreaming in Spanish!!!

* Soap, shampoo, and other toiletries are expensive... (thanks for the future care packages friends)

* Karaoke is big here.... really big. And people take it pretty seriously, too.

* My host mom and I have become really good friends.

* Random: I was watching a talk show (kind of like good morning america) with my host mom. Their background music while they were doing a story on a woman donating to a charity was the theme music to Freddy Krueger!

* Winter is starting here in Costa Rica which means HOT with lots of RAIN every afternoon.

A few highlights and insights for me the last few weeks has been:

- building friendships with some my fellow trainees; all of the laughs we have together; singing to old school music together to reminisce; OH and our whole CYF group (children youth and families) watching two of our crazy fellow trainees get in the bull ring and attempt to get chased by the pissed off bulls!

- During the tough moments in training or when there’s a negative cloud around us, I try to keep in mind that love is greater than the lower vibes that come around and that we’re all in different parts of our own journey- and that’s ok.

-Overall, I think the next few weeks are going to fly by, and soon I will be in my site! I am ready to serve and to be of use! I am constantly humbled by the Costa Rican’s eagerness and acceptance to have Peace Corps in their communities.

Check out some new pics. I love you all and thanks for the comments on my blog, the Facebook messages, the emails, and the phone calls!

Love ya!

Links to new pics!

http://picasaweb.google.com/dshanor/Bites?feat=directlink

http://picasaweb.google.com/dshanor/AtMyHostFamilySHouse?feat=directlink

http://picasaweb.google.com/dshanor/MiniVacationToTheMountainsWithTheHostFam?feat=directlink

Month 2

Hi Everyone! Things are going well in pre-service training. It´s been a little over a month in Costa Rica and I´m feeling it! I´ve tried taking pictures when possible. I´ve spent the last 3 hours uploading pics on picasa for you. :) I´m practicing my Spanish, getting to know the country a little more each day, ready for training to be over so I can move to my site, and slowly but surely getting used to the idea of calling this my home for 2 yrs. I miss everyone a lot. I look at pics of you all and email you when I get super homesick. Check out the pictures. The captions have a lot of info on them. Love you all!