Tico 20er Love til the End

I have been in country for a little over seven months. I have been in my site for almost 5 months. This is usually the point of service many volunteers question why we are here, if we are even useful, and if it would make more sense to be in the States. So far, 3 of the 17 from my program have, at some point and for varying reasons, decided to return to the States. We are now down to 14 of us Children, Youth, & Family volunteers from Tico 20. It sometimes feels a little like one of those reality shows where you can ring the bell to quit the challenge and go home. And every time someone “rings the bell” to go home, it shakes things up for the rest of us. Each time one of us has made that decision to return home, I can’t help it: I do a quick re-evaluation of “well, why am I here?” ...And depending on the mood sometimes I feel like I am 100% in the right place, but other times I have a longing to get on that flight with my fellow parting volunteer...

My fellow volunteers I came in with (Tico 20) are a valuable, integral, lifeline to my existence as a Peace Corps volunteer. Who else can truly appreciate and understand exactly what I am going through better than a Tico 20er? When I share my woes with friends and family back home I get great supportive “hang in theres” or protective “just come home, you don’t have to deal with all of that”. All of which is great; but only my Tico 20ers feel what I am feeling. This is such a unique experience, no matter how much I try to describe it, only my Tico 20ers laugh with me, cry with me, or gripe with me in true understanding. So, when another one of us makes that last trip to the Peace Corps office and decides to leave Peace Corps.... we feel it too. We understand why they are leaving, we wish they stayed, sometimes we wish we were them. But, at the end of the day, I am Tico 20 and I am here to stay. I hope life works out in a way that I can finish my service. Just when you think you know what’s next, life happens.